


The Big Secret

by Small_Hobbit



Category: Spooks | MI-5
Genre: M/M, Obscure and British Commentfest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 11:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6801643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Hobbit/pseuds/Small_Hobbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucas has revealed his past to Adam</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Big Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "Adam finds out Lucas' secrets and he doesn't leave Lucas, but he does have conditions."
> 
> I've taken my own interpretation of the events in Dakar and the mind games Vaughan Edwards played.

Lucas stopped speaking and looked up at Adam.  He wasn’t sure how he expected Adam to react, but following his revelations he knew their relationship would come to an end.  He’d been so happy the past few weeks, but there was no way it could continue.

Adam looked at him.  “Did you know you were taking a bomb into the embassy?”

“No.  Edwards didn’t trust me sufficiently; he only told me what I needed to know.”

“Would you have done the same if you’d known?”

Lucas hesitated.  “I don’t know,” he said finally.  “I was so far in by that point I might have just gone along with whatever he told me to do.”

Adam nodded, and continued to look critically at Lucas. “Should I be calling you John?”

“No.  I’m no longer John.”

“And the original Lucas North – did you kill him?”

“No.  That was Edwards.  I was completely numb by then.”

“It’s a lot to take in.”

“Yes.  I presume you’ll hand me over to Harry.”  Lucas began to shake violently.

“No!”

“What?”

“I believe you, Lucas.  And more than that, I believe in you.  You’re right, you have changed.  You are no longer John Bateman, but Lucas North.  I’m not going to leave you, but there are conditions.”

“Name them.”  Lucas swallowed; he would do his best, but he wasn’t sure he could hand himself over to the authorities.

“Firstly, I want an honest answer to my next question.  Why are you telling me now?”

“I love you and I want to be with you, but this time I can’t live with lying to you.”

“There’s more, isn’t there?”

“There’s been certain activity which makes me think Edwards may be coming back on the scene.  Normally I can cut myself off and imagine John Bateman was a different person, nothing to do with me.  It’s how I survived in Russia – I would tell myself everything that was happening was happening to someone else.  But if Edwards is back I won’t be able to do that anymore.”

“Thank you.  Secondly, I want you to write out everything you’ve just told me.  I’m not going to do anything with it, but I will be keeping it somewhere safe.  You’re to write it in ink, in longhand.  If you make a mistake cross it out and carry on, don’t destroy any of the paper.  While you’re doing that I’ll make us some dinner.”

Lucas did as instructed, laboriously writing out the whole tale.  Occasionally he used his sleeve to blot a tear which fell on the page.  Finally he picked up the pages and took them through to Adam.

“Right.  I’m going to read them through.  While I’m doing so, you can make yourself useful by stirring the sauce and keeping an eye on the spaghetti to see it doesn’t boil dry.”

Adam sat on a kitchen chair and read through what Lucas had written.  Finally he said, “Good.  I’m putting these at the back of the bottom drawer of my desk.  It’s not locked, so if you want to take them away you can do so.”

Lucas looked at him and said, “I understand.”  Adam was leaving him free to destroy the papers and deny everything.  He could hardly believe that after all he’d told him, Adam still trusted him.  In return, Lucas determined to never break that trust.  There might come a time when the papers needed to be destroyed, but Lucas wasn’t going to be the one to do so.

“And one last thing,” Adam said.  “You are to take me with you if ever you go to meet Vaughan.  I know you – you think you can cope and you’ll be determined to put things right by yourself.  You are not to do so.  Do you understand?”

Lucas nodded, not wishing to speak.

They ate in silence, Lucas wrapped up in his thoughts, while Adam watched him.

Afterwards, Adam stood up, walked round the table and put his arms round Lucas.  “I love you too, and together we’ll get through this.  What’s past is past.  Yes, there may be consequences, but nothing is insurmountable.  For now I’m going to pour us both a drink and then I suggest we go to bed – you look exhausted.”

Lucas was nervous about getting into bed with Adam, fearing that despite Adam’s words he might not be welcome; but Adam pulled Lucas into his chest and held him close, and before long Lucas fell asleep, secure in the comfort of Adam’s arms.

 

 

 


End file.
